Thought for Food

Astrological beauty advice from nutso Princess Luciana Pignatelli (via Cup of Jo):

Aries must have frequent dental check-ups.
Taurus should marry a man of means.
Gemini, often the face is too long or the nose is too long or big.
Cancer tends to be lazy about beauty and should be encouraged to make the effort.
Leo, if ambitions are not fulfilled, can have difficult menopause.
Virgo remains surprisingly youthful despite hypochondriac tendency.
Libra rarely gets fat.
Sagittarius is torn between bright, amusing men who are good talkers and her desire for a solid social position.
Scorpio is hypersexual and often attracted to men who are her inferiors.
Capricorn is always well turned-out and insists on quality in clothes.
Aquarius is often slightly neurotic and with fragile health.
Pisces, feet are the weak point and pedicures essential.

Poor, poor Geminis! The Princess has nothing constructive to say to you whatsoever.

PS: I’m a Libra. So I’ve got that going for me.