One of the things that is so interesting to me is that a lot of behavior is dictated less by gender and more by money, status, and power. Actresses in Hollywood have always had a lot of sex secretly. Why? Because they can. Because they’re not reliant on a man to provide a roof over their head. That changes your sexual behavior. Because if you’re looking for a man to provide for you, you don’t want to be seen as a woman who sleeps around. Men object to it because you’re not viewed as wife material.
One of the things that is so interesting to me is that a lot of behavior is dictated less by gender and more by money, status, and power. Actresses in Hollywood have always had a lot of sex secretly. Why? Because they can. Because they’re not reliant on a man to provide a roof over their head. That changes your sexual behavior. Because if you’re looking for a man to provide for you, you don’t want to be seen as a woman who sleeps around. Men object to it because you’re not viewed as wife material.Candace Bushnell in Elle.
Occasionally, I idly wonder how I’ve reached my mid-to-late twenties without having a one-night stand or more sexual partners than I can count on two hands.
Theories include:
- I am, or used to be, a serial monogamist and have spent about 60% of my twenties in a relationship
- I don’t make moves or let guys make moves on me when I’m out and about, even when I’ve had too much to drink
- I want to get married and have children sooner rather than later and tend to evaluate men according to the potency of my daydreams about “our” future
- Fantasies aside, the idea of physical intimacy with a man who I’m not comfortable with on other levels makes me anxious
- I keep myself busy, I have a lot of friends who are more interesting to me than most guys I meet, and sleeping in my own bed, alone, is lovely
But Ms. Bushnell presents another theory. If I was fabulously rich, would I act differently?
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The Great American Cooking Project
Notes from others: