Complaints Department
- Why can’t I go to sleep before 2 am anymore? Why do I always get a second wind at midnight? NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS AFTER MIDNIGHT. Not work-wise, anyway. Blog-wise? No, not that either.
- FLIES. Someone has left the window open while I was away* and it is a FLY FIASCO in here. They are landing on my bare shoulders as I try to type. They are swooping in front of my face. I am not only agitated but disgusted. I’m thinking about flies and shit — not fly shit
* In fairness, Jane says no one left the window open without the screen. Her theory is that they are being born inside our apartment. You see, we foolishly let about 6 house flies in awhile back. Over several days, I lured and killed them with a shallow bowl of agave nectar. But Jane’s theory (I guess) is that they laid eggs before their demise. This is theoretically possible, however, utterly unlikely:
Adult flies […] lay eggs in moist, decaying organic material, such as manure. Each female fly can lay up to five hundred eggs in her three to four week lifespan.
Admittedly, our apartment is a bit of a mess after the tyranny of the bedbugs, but we do not have mounds of manure anywhere, even in the recesses of Andrea’s walk-in closet.
And for your final gross-out, I give you this mental image:
[House flies] belong to a group of flies known as filth flies, due to their preference to breed in either manure or garbage. House flies feed by regurgitating saliva into food, which dissolves it, and then sucking the material back into the stomach.
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The Great American Cooking Project
