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Jul 23, 2008

For a disappointed friend, proof that women like us have been struggling with similar challenges for nearly a century… From “THE COLLEGE-BRED GIRL; If at Work Must Be Sought Out by Marrying Men,” The New York Times, March 18, 1914: Well educated, self-supporting, unmarried, and a woman — the combination seems indissoluble, often. Perhaps it is because the man, being hard to convince that women are not all alike, still believes that all college educated women are strong-minded, masculine, unyielding, unsympathetic, undomestic, and nothing more. But from observation I should say that the reason lies not in the undesirability of the woman, nor in the lack of perception of the man, so much as the circumstances of the woman’s life, if she lives in a large city.  Her inaccessibility … is a barrier that hinders propinquity, which they say is fatal to bachelorhood. … Her too brief evenings, after days spent as a man spends his, in earning a living, must be devoted to the small duties of a woman, such as letter writing, sewing, errands [and blogging, keeping up with reality TV, going to the gym, networking, socializing]. … Her vacations even do not give her freedom, for if she is fortunate enough to have a home and family she devotes some time to them, perhaps in a place where she has outgrown her school friends and is not likely to meet new men [paging the Midwest!]. … She is perhaps a prize, but not to be won without an effort; and unless the man has foresight enough to believe her “worth having,” she does not appear “worth going after,” when other attractions and distractions are more easily accessible. Sounds hopeless, doesn’t it?  Well, it wasn’t. Despite the author’s grim prognosis, they found love (if they didn’t, we wouldn’t be here). And not only that, but while they were loving and making babies and having it all, they were winning the right to vote. Thank you, my sisters, for blazing the trail. Painting by Diego Rivera.

For a disappointed friend, proof that women like us have been struggling with similar challenges for nearly a century…

From “THE COLLEGE-BRED GIRL; If at Work Must Be Sought Out by Marrying Men,” The New York Times, March 18, 1914:

Well educated, self-supporting, unmarried, and a woman — the combination seems indissoluble, often. Perhaps it is because the man, being hard to convince that women are not all alike, still believes that all college educated women are strong-minded, masculine, unyielding, unsympathetic, undomestic, and nothing more.

But from observation I should say that the reason lies not in the undesirability of the woman, nor in the lack of perception of the man, so much as the circumstances of the woman’s life, if she lives in a large city.  Her inaccessibility … is a barrier that hinders propinquity, which they say is fatal to bachelorhood.

…

Her too brief evenings, after days spent as a man spends his, in earning a living, must be devoted to the small duties of a woman, such as letter writing, sewing, errands [and blogging, keeping up with reality TV, going to the gym, networking, socializing].

…

Her vacations even do not give her freedom, for if she is fortunate enough to have a home and family she devotes some time to them, perhaps in a place where she has outgrown her school friends and is not likely to meet new men [paging the Midwest!].

…

She is perhaps a prize, but not to be won without an effort; and unless the man has foresight enough to believe her “worth having,” she does not appear “worth going after,” when other attractions and distractions are more easily accessible.

Sounds hopeless, doesn’t it?  Well, it wasn’t. Despite the author’s grim prognosis, they found love (if they didn’t, we wouldn’t be here).

And not only that, but while they were loving and making babies and having it all, they were winning the right to vote.

Thank you, my sisters, for blazing the trail.

Painting by Diego Rivera.

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