Thought for Food

“Quizno’s model - with a twist”

dihard:

On September 10, 2001, al-Qaeda was a name that was hardly recognized. Though the group was founded in 1988 by Osama Bin Laden and this timeline tells of earlier attacks linked to the group, the name was just not largely recognized. After September 11, however, the world knew al-Qaeda. By the end of the month it became a household name.

How is al-Qaeda a brand? Well, to analyze a brand’s identity we must identify the brand as a product, a symbol, an organization, and a person.

al-Qaeda as a product: The first “product-like” endeavor that comes to mind is the attack on September 11. That incident embodies the al-Qaeda brand and all of its aspirations.

al-Qaeda as a symbol: al-Qaeda had its own unique font. Unfortunately, I couldn’t locate it on the internet, but you may recall a conjoined and slanted Al before the Qaeda. In this way, it was managing its own brand, ensuring that all al-Qaeda documents had such a font (though I have not seen it in years..)

al-Qaeda as an organization: The organizational attributes are extreme dedication, with members taking a pledge of loyalty to Osama bin Laden and other leaders.

al-Qaeda as a person: Osama Bin Laden comes to mind first. But remember Zarqawi? The leader of al-Qaeda in Iraq until his death caused by a US airstrike. Well, he was a major player in the al-Qaeda brand, inspiring the daring and drastic measures of his constituents. He was the leader behind numerous beheadings, assassinations and bombings. He was brutal, the true embodiment of al-Qaeda’s brand identity. However, he didn’t even know how to shoot a gun. Remember this video? It certainly was no mistake this “blooper” was leaked to the internet in May of 2006 – the US military, who released the tape, was trying to dilute the strength of the al-Qaeda brand. Not only did the video expose Zarqawi’s inept gun ability (he fumbled the machine gun and had to have an assistant fix the locked gun), but he was wearing New Balance shoes. Fearsome warriors don’t wear New Balance.

[…]

Just a few weeks ago in a segment called “Iraq?”, Stewart describes application forms for potential al-Qaeda recruits. Resident expert John Hodgman describes they have “annual reports, March Madness pools, secret Santas … well very secret Santas,” likening the brand to the “Quizno’s model – with a twist.”

[…]

Building a brand: the Columbian leftist revolutionary group FARC have been slogging away in near-obscurity on the global stage for 40 years. Perhaps their fallen comrade’s laptop, which was taken from a Ecuadorean FARC camp by the Colombian military, is a brilliant PR move. Files on the laptop ALLEGEDLY reveal:

a.) they’ve received some $300 million from the Venezuelan government, and

b.) they’ve bought and sold 50 kilos of uranium

Though it is highly unlikely that any of this is completely true, it sure makes an impression. Nothing says “Hello, World!” like rumors of a dalliance with Hugo Chavez, a polarizing figure and legend in his own time, and dabbling with the 92nd element.

You just can’t buy this kind of publicity: 

”When they mention negotiations for 50 kilos of uranium this means that the FARC are taking big steps in the world of terrorism to become a global aggressor. We’re not talking of domestic guerrilla but transnational terrorism,” Gen. Oscar Naranjo [of Colombia] said at an explosive news conference.

And this (both quotes from NYT):

Both Venezuela and Ecuador also began reinforcing their borders, mobilizing troops and tanks as Chavez warned that another Colombian attack could spark a wider South American war.

The FARC aren’t waging holy war (the class struggle is SO last century), and this isn’t the kind of thing that Senator Clinton wants to be answering the phone about at 2 am, but they ARE called a terrorist group by the US government — and yet so few people (outside of Latin America) have heard of them.

What’s a guerilla gotta do to get noticed these days?  I would (VERY FACETIOUSLY) suggest that a lost laptop is step number one in launching the brand for the new millennium.