Thought for Food

My cat’s terrified of me. He skitters away when he sees me thumping towards him with my crutches and das Boot. The iPhone’s cool and all but AT&T service doesn’t work in every single part of my apartment but the part furthest from me. And there’s a lot going on right now, so I actually need to, y’know, make and receive calls. Oh, and I just picked a fight with my boyfriend who’s trying to finish up at the office so he can PICK UP THE CSA SHARE AND COME TO BROOKLYN TO MAKE DINNER FOR MY UNGRATEFUL ASS.

I’m a winner.

So let’s take a moment to look back on a time when my legs were limber and free and balanced so beautifully atop those glorious death-traps.